i didn't have a lot going on this weekend so my anxiety wasn't too bad but then two of my girlfriends invited me away for the day last minute and the thought of that gave me such severe anxiety that i felt crippled. this was so depressing. these are two of my favorite people and being out with them would have been so fun but i felt like i couldn't even breathe a few times when i would think about it too much. being away from my "safe place" for the day was too much to handle. i made an excuse, as i usually do, and didn't go. been thinking about it a lot and can't believe that this is where i am in my life now. how do i get control of this?
that stinks jules and i know that feeling. i usually try to power through it but lately it feels impossible. and it's such a lonely feeling. one of my friends called me this morning and asked what i did over the weekend and i feel so lame saying nothing at all because they ask why and i can't be honest about my anxiety. they don't get it.
Jules, I am sorry about that but try not to be hard on yourself. I actually applaud you for listening to your body. There have been times when I have pushed through and gone out, and it didn't turn out well for me. But there have been times where I felt slight anxiety then gone out and been totally fine. It's a gray area which is hard to navigate at times. When is it okay to push through the anxiety and go out and when do we listen to our bodies and say no? That's what I am still conflicted about.
Yeah. This really sucks. I feel like my life is passing me by sometimes because i spend so many weekends at home so maybe I will feel decent for the work week.